2003-09-05, 3:13 p.m.

About that $$$=happiness glitch. The Daddyman would always even say that if we had money -we'd have nothing to argue about. Most of our arguments have been verbally concerning money, but that's not what they were really about.

I have really let go of the money thing as much as I can. Whenever there is money around -if there is any unhappiness or drama going on (and there always is) is just gets spent. I don't even know how responsible I will have to become before this all stops. Honestly I don't think it ever will stop. It seems ridiculous to know that working full time at $12/hr is not enough to really take care of a family of three with debt. If the Daddyman could reliably pay me the $400/month he's supposed to -my life might financially work. However the Daddyman is nobody to depend on financially. But money is nothing you can depend on either. Mostly it seems like you can depend on trouble and bad luck in this life more than anything else. It's a good thing that I was enlightened to the fact that life is not fair at an early age.

I've had plenty of time to get used to the idea, before I really got to experience the unfairness to its full potential.

brief aside: I want to note for you, that I am feeling quite upbeat as I enter this. I worry that you worry as you read that I am typing with one hand and flagellating with the other. I am not. (for those of you who are not familiar with that term, please hit the link. It might suprise you that the term has nothing to do with masturbation.)