sad, but true;2003-08-20 2:39 p.m.

I am suddenly so tired. I just had to get my period on top of everything else that's happened all week (and it's only Wednesday, for chrissake!). The Daddyman calls and wants to borrow my drill, and is trying to be helpful, but the fact of the matter is that we still haven't acknowledged the full extent of the theivery and mischief that occurred this weekend and I feel like I should at least get an apology for his behavior. But a large part of me also wants to give him room because it's not his fault his stupid freelance contracting work dried up for two weeks. I have experienced the depression of not working.

But as it is, my nest egg (or property tax check some call it) has been stolen and squandered and having the Direct TV turned back on doesn't make me feel all that much better. I don't want to push him away because I know how lonely that is. I just want to cry because I was robbed, and I want to cry because I don't want to abandon the person who robbed me. I want him to just realize what he's done and wake up. ALL BY HIMSELF. I want him to just go away too. ALL BY HIMSELF. I am just so tired of him, and his personality, and his needs. But my love for him is true nonetheless. It is no longer romantic, it is no longer passionate, but I love him. I just don't want him in my life anymore.

"Wow" I said. "But how do you know it's really true love?"
"You know,"she said."Something tells you..Maybe for you it will be the way you feel when a certain someone looks at you in a certain way. Or something in the sound of her voice. It could be anything. That's not important. What matters is what you do when it happens. Do you accept it and act on it, or do you ignore it, or try to deny it? Because true love isn't always convenient. Almost never, in fact. It comes at a bad time. Or with the wrong person. That's when you've got to find the courage to follow your heart, no matter what. Because the alternative is death. Living death, which is the worst kind..."

-The Princess Bride by William Goldman

Excerpt from a Reader's Guide Character Interview with Princess Buttercup,25th Anniversary Edition

It might be sad and crappy, but it is the truth. Although he's nothing I need to cling to, that love is a part of me. Probably the best part.