Also, admittedly a little too fast "for conditions", but that’s what brakes are for. It’s March, I’m headed back to work after a few days off to get a handle on my life (because the idea that I might continue to screw up and possibly lose my job was causing me a great deal of anxiety and panic- imagine that) feeling assured that I had done the right thing.
I found myself in need of an abrupt stop. Literally. I braked and skid on the ice. My mini van’s (which was exactly the same van as the one that was rolled, only a little nicer) back end swung out and smashed its front end into the wall of the tunnel. I pulled away from the tunnel wall, swerved left through 2 lanes of traffic without touching another vehicle, regained control of my vehicle, and realized my front passenger side tire was flat. I proceeded through the tunnel, switching to the right shoulder and stopped my car and called AAA. I then called work and left a tearful and hysterical message with the lead in charge.
“Oh no, you got your van fixed and you’re in another accident?” It was the same state trooper from accident #1. He was appropriately sympathetic and got me immediate towing assistance getting my vehicle from its dangerous place on the blind shoulder of the freeway following the tunnel. He was much faster than AAA. It was considered to be another no fault accident, since what happened to me happens several times each winter in the tunnel. Nobody was hurt. I am lucky lucky lucky right? I am left feeling grateful.
I decided if I was going to give the Daddyman another chance, he should also be the one I asked for help. He came to pick me up right away. Needless to say I go home and take a dose of the generic Valium newly prescribed to me for emergencies. But I also feel the need to ask myself if I am somehow subconsciously willing the accidents to happen. I am telling myself it’s crazy to believe that my choosing the Daddyman has led to this destruction.
Sure it is.
1 comment:
I just read everything you have here. I've read some of it, I think, already, and almost forgot how captivating the story is. Your tone, in some parts, reminds me a little bit of Sylvia Plath..well, Bell Jar anyway. I hope that doesn't offend you because it's a style that appeals to me and I don't mean at all that you sound crazy.
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